Side Effects
by Hobbes22
Summary: Being a ditto morph would be pretty nifty if it weren't for the side effects.


This story is going to be very AU (Author's Universe)

If you don't like then don't read

But why would you care? Not like it makes the story worse…uh…never mind ignore me

;)

There are too many Ash Ketchum Stories…anyway yeah new story about the never used Ditto Morph. I tried to take a spin on the concept. Be warned, this fic might have some randomly strange stuff in it.

There won't be lemon, or any shit like that (If you can't take minor curse word usage, then why are you reading a T story?)

Please enjoy. Not going to say "I don't own Pokémon" because this is called FANfiction and I am, quite obviously, a fan.

Don't worry, I'm not always this condescending :P

Life sucks.

No, really, life sucks. Maybe not for you, but for me, life sucks.

I didn't always think this. The same goes for anyone that thinks life sucks; they didn't think it sucked when they were a baby. I didn't think it sucked until about a few weeks ago.

I had to make the one mistake of tripping on a rock. My life would be PERFECTLY normal if I hadn't tripped on this rock.

Stupid rock. I have the rock with me even today. It's in my back pocket, and I'm waiting to give it a painful death. So what if it can't feel pain?

You might be thinking, What happened after you tripped? Did you fall? Did you break your arm? Well I obviously fell, but unfortunately, into a little pit. This happened just off of Route 1 in Kanto, mind you, so I was surprised that nobody noticed. Before I could scream, the trap was sealed off by this glass. The rock I tripped on fell with me. I cursed, and tried to yell for help, but the glass seemed soundproof or something because I had no help at all.

Eventually, this weird guy in a chicken suit walked to me and sighed.

"Damn it, I wanted a Pokémon! Not some stupid kid…"

The reason I add the ellipsis is one I'd not like to talk about. Let's just say a hole appeared in the guys chest, some woman screamed, and the guy fell down. There was red where the hole was. Took me a while to realize he was shot.

Shit.

A different guy, this time wearing a shirt with a "G" on it, and a woman with the same uniform, walked up to the pit.

"See, I told you latching on to that hunter was a good idea."

"Shut up, Jim, or I'll shoot you and throw you with him."

The guy, or Jim, gulped, and opened the glass slightly. He then took out this spray and sprayed it.

Not sure what it was, but I fell asleep super-fast.

I had woken up in a room. It smelled strangely like chocolate. To answer that thought, I noticed "Jim", the guy in the G shirt, munching on a Snickers bar.

"Jim, stop that! You look unprofessional."

"Sarah, who's going to care? This kid? Give me a break."

Apparently their names were Sarah and Jim. I was finally able to get a good look at the two. Jim had black hair, and was pretty tall. He was also very skinny, and had strange green eyes. Cindy was almost the opposite, being slightly short and somewhat stout, having brown eyes. She was the one that held the gun. I think I noticed Jim staying slightly away from her when he could. Was she his boss or something?

"You're not my boss you know."

"Yeah, but I'm one position higher than you."

Well, that answers that.

At this point, I was tired of being ignored.

"Who the hell are you guys? What do you want with me? Just let me go already."

Jim started to respond, but was pushed aside by Sarah. "Stupid brat, nobody asked you anything. Let's set some rules here; don't talk unless spoken to first, and listen to everything I say!"

I just noticed I wasn't locked up. I wasn't even chained. I was free to just attack them! I charged at them, fists up, in a suicidal attempt for freedom. Unfortunately, I didn't notice Sarah push a little button, which caused a huge pain to go through my legs. Needless to say, I crumbled onto the floor crutching my legs.

"AHHHH WHAT THE HECK"

"Just a security mesure to make sure you don't escsape."

I cursed under my breath. These two were getting really annoying. I was about to ask what the G ment, when I was given another shock. This one didn't hurt, but for some reason I went unconscious. At least they had some humanity.

When I woke up THIS time, I was strapped to this table. Nothing fancy, just a table. Some Pokémon I had never seen before was on a table next to mine. It was pink, and a bit fuzzy. It had a long tail, and looked almost like cat.

The strange Pokémon awoke. It called out in a very faint voice "Mew…"

Wait, what? This was the fabled Mew? But it was so small! We learned about it in elementary school, but everyone thought it was a giant beast capable of destroying the world if it wanted to! We knew it was peaceful, but this little thing looked like an average Pokémon.

It looked at me in the eye and appeared to be sighing.

"_You too? Figures_"

Needless to say, I was shocked. A Pokémon was talking? I mean, I didn't hear it, but it was in my head…telepathy?

"_Well, obviously I can use telepathy. I'm legendary and I'm Psychic!"_

Somebody has an attitude. Mew sounded like a teenage boy.

As in literally, he had the voice of a teenage boy.

"Uh, do you have any idea what's going on?"

I would have been in awe, but I was too busy wondering what the hell was going on.

"_Isn't it obvious? We've been kidnapped by those guys"_

"Who are they?"

"_I…don't know. It starts with a G. Uh….Gar…lan…der? I don't know. Garlander sounds cool."_

I didn't really know what to respond to this one, so I didn't.

For what seemed like an eternity, but what was actually probably two minutes, me and Mew were alone in the room. Eventually, a guy with a lab coat with a G stitched on the back walked in. He had glasses on, and had grayish hair. Despite this, he looked fairly young.

He began to speak. "All right, you two, we're going to have some fun right now. Unfortunately you can't be awake for the process."

That being said, he put one of those anesthesia things over my head and Mew's and turned it on.

_**Third Person Limited – The Scientist**_

It was a really long day for Argous. Yeah, Argous. He hated his parents for that one. What kind of name is Argous? Argous himself didn't know. He couldn't ask. His parents were dead before he could find out.

Argous was…a bit smarter than the average person. Or, to be more specific, a LOT. He could probably have been one of the best Pokémon professors of all time hadn't be have been an orphan with no money. That's the reason he joined the Garlanders. (**AN – Yeah, that's the name. You'll see why later)**

Argous thought the name was ridiculous so he just referred to it as Team G just like most of the rest of the team. The only person that actually calls them the Garlanders is the boss.

Argous had a long day. He had failed finding a special formula for a different project, he was denied a raise, and worst of all he had to do this extra job to pay off some bills. He wasn't poor by any means, due to Team G's decent salary, but he wasn't exactly rich. He wasn't married or had kids, so he lived by himself. He was about 30, but looked much older do to the time he spent alone. To be honest, he never liked working for Team G, but it was the only job he could find.

His current assignment was kind of strange. He had to splice the DNA of a Mew they somehow managed to capture with this kid they randomly snagged. This kid had no idea what was coming to him. Inside, Argous felt terrible for the kid and the Mew for this, but he had to pay the bills somehow, correct?

The process was very confidential, so only Argous and his Boss know it. It's not that complicated, however. It would be printed here, but it's much too confidential.

After he finished, he noticed the kid shaking a bit. That's…never a good thing.

**Main Character POV**

I woke up shivering. It wasn't cold or anything, but my body was acting out. I saw Mew wake look on his face was…relieved and scared at the same time. He was also staring me in the eye.

Oh boy.

I heard him speak via telepathy.

"_Well, they finished. I don't think you will like the results."_

"Wait, what did they do?"

"_They tried to combine our DNA."_

"WHAT?"

Suddenly the Scientist grunted, obviously annoyed. He looked at me and signed, then turned around.

"Hey, what the hell did you do to me? Why do I feel so strange?"

He turned around, then looked back at his notes and computer, bored.

"DON'T IGNORE ME!" I shouted. I was obviously mad. I need answers, not indifference.

Without turning, he said, "Well based off the mild language that Mew spewed at me earlier, He should be able to tell via telepathy. I'm pretty sure he's smart enough to tell you."

He got up and left the room. His hand was on his head the entire time.

Mew looked back at me and started to speak, err, whatever the verb is for mind speaking. I guess I'll just refer to it as normal talking. (**A/N – Meta AN anyone?)**

"_As I said earlier, they combined our DNA."_

"How is that even possible?"

Before I could receive any response, the lights went out.

"_Ah, things are going to plan. I knew I could trust Jirachi with this one. He always knows what to do."_

"What? Who's Jirachi? Why did the lights go out?"

"_You'll see, human."_

After a few seconds of silence, I could somehow tell that Mew was no longer with me. He seemed to have left me to rot, but as it turned out, he simply left first. I suddenly blacked out. I was doing this too much in one day. Blacking out more than once, if it all, probably isn't good towards my mental health.

When I woke up, I was in a forest. Or a jungle, or a "woods", or whatever you want to call it. There aren't too many of these back in Kanto, so I was pretty sure where I was. That was, of course, before I saw the Wurmple.

Oh boy.

I was in Hoenn.

Petalburg Woods to be exact.

This isn't good.

**Post Chap A / N**

**DAE LE PLOT TWIST XDXDXD**

People who write fanfiction in the grammer of the above sentence need to take English class 100 more times.

100. No more, no less.

Anyway, a standard start to the chapter. Based off of the forshadowing you can probably guess what's going to happen in this one. Next chap'll be up soon (and longer) because it's already written, hehehe.

H22~


End file.
